ACTUALLY:

markslurpee:

female privilege is getting to fake an orgasm

(Disclaimer: markslurpee's post was meant to be satirical in response to thisisfemaleprivilege - he does not actually believe what is written above. Thisisfemaleprivilege, however, DOES believe it, and reblogged it with no ironic intent. If you’re angry, please refrain from bothering markslurpee! He’s a good guy. The following rebuttal is directed at those who run thisisfemaleprivilege.)

Now.

A lot of women feel pressured to fake an orgasm rather than discuss the problem, often because they worry about their partner’s self-esteem or are nervous to ask for what they want.

According to a 1994 study, 75% of men and only 29% of women report always having an orgasm with their partner. In fact, for a very long time, it was believed that female orgasm was a myth because it does not serve as much of a direct purpose in the procreational aspects of heterosexual intercourse.

Additionally, women in pornography are often depicted as able to easily achieve vaginal orgasm with very little effort. Not only is this a misrepresentation due to the relatively low number of women who can consistently have vaginal orgasms, it also implies that women will always have an orgasm - period. This is a huge discrepancy from a 2010 survey by the NSSHB, which found that only 64% of women report having had an orgasm during their last sexual encounter. This misrepresentation of reality puts social pressure on women to live up to the enthusiasm of fantasy women.

For women, orgasm is the exception, not the rule, when engaging in sex with a partner. The fact that this dissatisfaction may be easily hidden is no privilege - it is a social nicety women are expected to perform.

[CLICK HERE] to read more about orgasm and privilege!

(via thisisfemaleprivilege)

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege is BOOBS 

Boobs are great! Not a lot of people dislike boobs, anyway. However, boobs can be problematic because of the way [especially] Western society sexualizes them.

47 states allow breast feeding in public, but in three states it is possible for women to face public indecency or indecent exposure charges for nursing a child in public. Even in states where it is legal, it is not entirely uncommon for women to be harassed, heckled, or frowned upon for breast feeding in public.

What this means is that it’s always been okay to show breasts like this:

…But when they are used for their primary biological purpose - nursing children - society recoils and calls this “indecent.”

Women have been taught that their breasts are a thing to hide for the sake of the men who may be distracted by them, a dirty and exclusively sexual part of the female anatomy - which is in part why it is not legal for women to go topless in public, whereas men can.

A woman with a bustier figure is sometimes met with presumptions about her “promiscuity,” even when nothing else about her character or dress would suggest an inclination for frequent or indiscriminate sexual behavior. This kind of judgement can become especially problematic when schools or work environments raise dress code policies for chestier women, suggesting that the same, modest outfit may appear “vulgar” or “inappropriate” on one breast size but “decent” on those with smaller breasts. Bustygirlcomics expresses this idea rather perfectly in the comic below:

Even when breasts are not being met with negative attention, unwanted positive attention can also be harmful. For example, a woman’s chest is often used as decoration in music videos, advertisements, and other media attempting to “sell” an idea. Sexual reductionism teaches consumers of such media that objectifying women is okay, and that a woman’s worth in public is equal to how attractive she is. Certain body parts on women - in particular breasts, hips, butts, and lips - are especially oversexualized in popular media, resulting in an environment where women may often feel undervalued for non-physical traits, or on the flip side preyed on for being beautiful and thus an object of some men’s sexual self-entitlement.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is the ability to use tears and erotic persuasion as a means to get your way

Again, this is not a “privilege” that women have, but a cheap trick used by very few women that has consequences for all of us.

First of all, there have been studies which have confirmed that female tears may not actually affect a man’s empathy in one way or another. Additionally, it is irresponsible to “cry wolf” and use tears strictly to get out of trouble or to get one’s way, because this lessens the credibility of those who cry out of actual emotional discontent. 

Secondly, using erotic persuasion as a means to get one’s way may propagate rape myths in the same way that a lot of mainstream pornography can. Rape myths include harmful beliefs and attitudes toward women in particular, such as the belief that women enjoy sexual violence, the belief that women are always aroused and looking to be relieved of this arousal, the belief that rape victims were “asking for it,” and many others. Similar to pornography’s effect on the increasing acceptance of rape myths in male populations, when real women trade sexual attention “to get [their] way” or for any other favor, men who see this may begin to believe that women in general will trade sex for anything. This belief can often lead to resentment and the loss of respect for women on the whole.

So don’t do this to get your way. It is not a “privilege” we have, because it comes at a dangerous cost for all. I’ve sort of written a rebuttal like this one before in [THIS] post, but this time I decided to talk more about rape myths.

[For kicks, I would like to point you all in the direction of a Cosmopolitan article that I found to be incredibly stupid. It’s titled - and I quote - “Researchers Have Discovered a Major Boner Shrinker.” As you can see from the article, the important thing that Cosmo took away from this scientific research is that you shouldn’t cry in front of a man, or he might not want to have sex with you. UH OH! Never mind that if you’re crying, you probably aren’t in the mood to have sex anyway. Cosmo has, shockingly, not yet commented on whether pairing tears with erotic persuasion has any affect on men’s empathy, purse strings, or anything else - but we’re all just dying to hear what Cosmo has to say about that.]

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is being able to express sexual or romantic interest without being called a “creep” and losing social status.

Unwanted expressions of sexual or romantic interest are always awkward, but it becomes especially troubling when they persist after one has said “no.”

Some men refer to this as being “friendzoned” and take serious offense to women who exercise their right to say no to their romantic interest after they have been kind or friendly to a woman for a while. This word is also sometimes used when men go on dates with women who realize they are just not interested in them after all. 

The problem here is that being nice to a woman, being her friend, or letting her talk to you about tough stuff does not mean she owes you romantic or physical attention in return. Having “been there” throughout all of her other romantic relationships does not automatically assign you privilege to her heart or body. “Nice” isn’t the only thing women look for in men, and really, if someone is being nice in order to achieve a payoff, that person may not really be so nice at all. I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “Girls are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.” The same goes for any romantic relationship, physical or not.

Tumblr user claudieblue puts the occurrence into perspective by comparing it to a man who doesn’t understand why the store he frequents hasn’t hired him. [CLICK HERE] to read the post! Another Tumblr user, angels-and-angles, says “‘Slut’ is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say ‘yes.’ ‘Friendzone’ is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say ‘no.’”

What this leaves is very little middle ground for a woman to stand on, and very little trust for these supposed “friends” whose kindness, unknowing to her, came at a cost all along.

The phrase “creep-shaming” is often used by the same people who espouse the belief that when a woman says “no” to a friend who has always been there for her, she is friendzoning. The phrase carries the connotation that when a woman tells the [often] opposite-sex friend that she feels uncomfortable with his persistent advances, she is somehow shaming him, abusing him, emasculating him, or otherwise insulting him.

The most important thing for everyone to remember is to be open and honest with each other before beginning any kind of relationship, platonic or otherwise. If you don’t think you’ll be able to handle staying in a platonic relationship with someone you’re romantically interested in without getting hurt, the responsibility is on you to either remove yourself from that friendship, or continue as you are with the knowledge and acceptance that your feelings may never be returned - preferably without intentionally guilting your friend.

It is also important to remember that friendship does not constitute “leading someone on,” and people are perfectly capable of having deep, meaningful conversations with people they do not necessarily want to be with in a romantic or sexual way.

No one should have to feel guilty for not returning another’s affection. This certainly goes for women who pine after men as well, queer people, or any other combination of friends. What we see most commonly, however, especially online, is women under fire for friendzoning and creep-shaming men.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is having images of impossible, incredibly rare body shapes appear for every female role in every single movie, while males frequently get goofy, “ugly” characters to relate to.

Many of the female icons women are expected to relate to are those “impossible, incredibly rare body shapes.” Sometimes the “impossible” part is to be taken quite literally, as many women on advertisements, in films, and in television promos are photoshopped, airbrushed, and generally beautified to a point that even the actress herself does not resemble her onscreen presence. A really helpful video that illustrates this use of photoshopped women in advertisements can be found [HERE].

One study conducted in India discovered that women who had not been previously exposed to these first world ideals of beauty - impossible thinness, youth, flawless skin, etc… - were more likely to be satisfied with their own bodies than women who had been exposed to these images. This study showed that the problem is largely a first world one, and hundreds of other studies have been able to similarly prove the existence of body dissatisfaction in women exposed to falsified images of women.

Men are less likely to experience severe body dissatisfaction with increased exposure to polished media men, although there have been some studies that suggest increased exposure to video games can cause some men to be dissatisfied with their height and/or musculature.

However, the fact that men are allowed to appear onscreen in multiple shapes and sizes, and are sometimes goofy or “ugly,” means that other traits about these characters can be focused on. It is more permissible for a man to be generally unattractive in television and movies because he is more likely to have his worth proven through other attributes - his intelligence, his loyalty, or his sense of humor.

For more about the objectification of women in the media, [CLICK HERE] and read the bottom paragraph in particular!

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is being able to shave your body hair without being made fun of.

Male athletes (cyclists and swimmers especially) often shave their body hair to be more aerodynamic, hydrodynamic, and to avoid complications should an injury occur. This is generally acceptable to society.

However, when a female decides not to shave her body hair, she will often be labeled strange or dirty - much more so than when men do decide to shave. Common misconceptions about these women are that they must be lesbians, or identify as men, or are avid environmentalists. The truth is, some women don’t shave because they just don’t want to or don’t like to. This reason does not seem to be acceptable to most of modern society, which has taken to policing the way women deal with their own bodies.

Another important issue is the pressure women are made to feel to shave or wax their bikini area - sometimes entirely. Especially in modern pornography, waxed or shaved women are represented more than women who still have pubic hair, and the result is that more and more men are coming to believe a woman has to have zero pubic hair to be considered beautiful. Ironically, most dermatologists agree that the skin around the genitals is extremely sensitive and is kept healthier if the hair in the region is left alone. This is not to say that women who choose to shave should not, but there should certainly be no pressure put on women to shave.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege is being able to get out of punishments or tickets by crying/flirting/blaming your period.

This is not a “privilege,” but a cheap tactic used by few women. One could also say men can get out of punishments because they’re more likely to appear physically more threatening or imposing, but that would also be cheap. If a man uses his physical strength to avoid trouble, would we call that a “privilege,” or a problem?

Additionally, it is irresponsible to blame your period for mistakes unless your period actually caused you to make them (ex., it’d be okay if you have to miss school because you have severe cramping, headaches or other symptoms that hinder you from getting work done). Some women really do have severe menstrual complications, and when other women cry wolf to get out of trouble, it lowers the overall credibility of women who complain about their periods who may actually have problems. Some men think women use their period as an excuse too frequently, causing them to think of us as weak and whiny on the whole, so using this tactic does not come without implications for all women.

Flirting is also an irresponsible way to get out of trouble, because it similarly propagates untrue rumors about women, like that we are willing to trade affection and sexual favor for special privilege. This behavior is often exaggerated in male-targeted media, especially in pornography, and studies have shown that exposure to these myths about women lead to negative beliefs and attitudes about real-life women.

These tactics are not “privileges.” They are mistakes with costs for all women, and we should not make them.

ACTUALLY: Men, women, and their respective rates of pay.

thisisfemaleprivilege:

http://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2012/07/12/striking-constrast-in-median-incomes-of-men-and-women-since-1968/

The link above leaves out CRUCIAL details about the wage gap. I will highlight the most important differences. All of these findings are directly from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics and the US Census Bureau.

  • Women earn more than men in hourly positions where <40 hours per week are worked. However, around the threshold of “full time” (40 hours), men begin earning more than women - not only in hourly jobs, but in salaried jobs as well - for the same number of hours worked.
  • All occupational earnings are expressed in proportion to the number of thousands of workers from each sex, which is evidence against the claim that the perceived wage gap is caused by the fact that more men than women typically take certain jobs.
  • In lower-paid jobs, women tend to yield the same or more income than men, but around the threshold of an annual 40k salary, female earnings drop off sharply for the same work.
  • Although there are more college-educated women entering the workforce than there are men, women are under-represented in management positions. Women with the same or better qualifications as men are statistically less likely to be hired for higher-profile, higher-pay positions within a corporation. This is thought to be because women are “risky appointments” because of their chances of taking maternity leave or becoming attached to household tasks. This discrimination causes a cycle where women are prodded toward taking lower-paying jobs or being stay at home mothers because of the lack of on-site daycare services for people with children.
  • Men peak in their occupational wages just breaching six figures with a bachelor’s degree, but women of the same level of education never break through 60k on average.
  • Women of ages 18-24 made slightly less with a bachelor’s degree than men of the same age group made with an associate’s degree.
  • Women are more likely to be promoted into management positions rather than hired into them. However, women still receive fewer promotions than men and fewer hirings than men on the whole into high-paying jobs, proving the existence of wage discrimination.

The wage gap is not something that can be explained away with a simple “men work more than women, so men make more.” On the whole, this is true. But only discrimination can account for why women are paid less for the SAME work performed.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is getting to complain about male privilege.

Oh dear. Yes. I just love, L-O-V-E, love complaining about male privilege. In fact, I hope it continues, because I love being able to complain about it more than I would love it if I had equal respect in society!

I don’t like to deviate from the “educational” tone I usually use for this rebuttal blog, but this one called for some serious snark.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is not being expected to pay on a date.

This is an age-old tradition that stems from the fundamentally sexist idea that men are always providers and women are always caretakers - and that’s it. This custom began in a time when dating meant, to men, that they needed to show they were capable of providing financially for a woman who would then most likely be a housewife. Women are perfectly capable of providing for themselves, and assuming otherwise is sexist. Unfortunately, the fact that so many people still adhere to this outdated rule opens the door for a snowballing effect where people criticize women for being “gold-diggers.” Putting women in this box is harmful.

Additionally, sometimes women feel pressured into having sex on a date where a man has paid. Just another reason to go Dutch.