ACTUALLY:

markslurpee:

female privilege is getting to fake an orgasm

(Disclaimer: markslurpee's post was meant to be satirical in response to thisisfemaleprivilege - he does not actually believe what is written above. Thisisfemaleprivilege, however, DOES believe it, and reblogged it with no ironic intent. If you’re angry, please refrain from bothering markslurpee! He’s a good guy. The following rebuttal is directed at those who run thisisfemaleprivilege.)

Now.

A lot of women feel pressured to fake an orgasm rather than discuss the problem, often because they worry about their partner’s self-esteem or are nervous to ask for what they want.

According to a 1994 study, 75% of men and only 29% of women report always having an orgasm with their partner. In fact, for a very long time, it was believed that female orgasm was a myth because it does not serve as much of a direct purpose in the procreational aspects of heterosexual intercourse.

Additionally, women in pornography are often depicted as able to easily achieve vaginal orgasm with very little effort. Not only is this a misrepresentation due to the relatively low number of women who can consistently have vaginal orgasms, it also implies that women will always have an orgasm - period. This is a huge discrepancy from a 2010 survey by the NSSHB, which found that only 64% of women report having had an orgasm during their last sexual encounter. This misrepresentation of reality puts social pressure on women to live up to the enthusiasm of fantasy women.

For women, orgasm is the exception, not the rule, when engaging in sex with a partner. The fact that this dissatisfaction may be easily hidden is no privilege - it is a social nicety women are expected to perform.

[CLICK HERE] to read more about orgasm and privilege!

(via thisisfemaleprivilege)

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege is the ability to demand and receive alimony after a divorce settlement even though you have a degree and a well paying job to support yourself.

Temporary alimony is sometimes awarded to divorced men who were not the “bread winners” in their marriage, although it is certainly true that women are much more likely to receive alimony, and in most places “indefinite” alimony is awarded to exclusively women. This alimony is often withheld in cases where the woman’s misbehavior is the grounds for divorce, in an attempt to keep things fair.

With that concession statement out of the way:

The feminist community is fairly split on the issue of alimony, although there are slightly more feminists who oppose it.

Many feminists support the discontinuation of alimony, believing it to be a form of sexism by society’s acknowledgement of the fact that women do not make as much for every dollar men make. Instead of seeking to rectify this larger problem, however, alimony is seen by some as making women into a sort of charity. This allows the cycle to continue where women’s financial reliance on men is made bearable enough for many people to believe that this is a form of “making up” for inequality, when it’s really not. Additionally, many feminists acknowledge that this puts some men (although comparably fewer) at a disadvantage, especially if the man was the partner who worked very little or not at all in order to remain attached to household tasks while his partner worked.

On the other hand, many older feminists believe that alimony is a form of “retroactive pay for years of free labor” (Robin Morgan) for women who were previously stay-at-home mothers or who were delegated housekeeping duties. This viewpoint is also important because it wasn’t so long ago that most women were encouraged to be wives and homemakers, and therefore had little other means to financial welfare. Many of these women from decades ago did not have the same access to family and academic support that we have today to encourage them to live as we always should have been allowed to: self-sufficiently.

Demanding alimony even if not needed or not as a way to pay back a woman for years of homemaking and childcare comes at a loss for feminism, as many anti-feminist groups cite this issue as a reason to believe that feminism is harmful to society.

The thing is, alimony began as a way to make amends when equality between the sexes was even more distinct. Feminists fought for this shred of help when it was more relevant, and as soon as women became more encouraged to work outside the home, feminists at large began opposing alimony because it had outlived its usefulness and even became harmful in some situations.

Feminism is an evolving movement; just because feminists of ages past had more of a use for alimony does not mean modern-day feminists are to be “blamed” for the occasional injustices caused by it in modern times, especially considering the fact that most modern-day feminists agree that alimony is probably too problematic an ordeal to keep around.

Feminism has won us many rights, and it is our only hope for continuing to gain equal footing with men. Anything that harms the rationality of feminism has drawbacks for all of us, and that is why demanding unnecessary alimony is not a “privilege,” but a behavior to be strongly frowned upon.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is being able to express sexual or romantic interest without being called a “creep” and losing social status.

Unwanted expressions of sexual or romantic interest are always awkward, but it becomes especially troubling when they persist after one has said “no.”

Some men refer to this as being “friendzoned” and take serious offense to women who exercise their right to say no to their romantic interest after they have been kind or friendly to a woman for a while. This word is also sometimes used when men go on dates with women who realize they are just not interested in them after all. 

The problem here is that being nice to a woman, being her friend, or letting her talk to you about tough stuff does not mean she owes you romantic or physical attention in return. Having “been there” throughout all of her other romantic relationships does not automatically assign you privilege to her heart or body. “Nice” isn’t the only thing women look for in men, and really, if someone is being nice in order to achieve a payoff, that person may not really be so nice at all. I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “Girls are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.” The same goes for any romantic relationship, physical or not.

Tumblr user claudieblue puts the occurrence into perspective by comparing it to a man who doesn’t understand why the store he frequents hasn’t hired him. [CLICK HERE] to read the post! Another Tumblr user, angels-and-angles, says “‘Slut’ is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say ‘yes.’ ‘Friendzone’ is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say ‘no.’”

What this leaves is very little middle ground for a woman to stand on, and very little trust for these supposed “friends” whose kindness, unknowing to her, came at a cost all along.

The phrase “creep-shaming” is often used by the same people who espouse the belief that when a woman says “no” to a friend who has always been there for her, she is friendzoning. The phrase carries the connotation that when a woman tells the [often] opposite-sex friend that she feels uncomfortable with his persistent advances, she is somehow shaming him, abusing him, emasculating him, or otherwise insulting him.

The most important thing for everyone to remember is to be open and honest with each other before beginning any kind of relationship, platonic or otherwise. If you don’t think you’ll be able to handle staying in a platonic relationship with someone you’re romantically interested in without getting hurt, the responsibility is on you to either remove yourself from that friendship, or continue as you are with the knowledge and acceptance that your feelings may never be returned - preferably without intentionally guilting your friend.

It is also important to remember that friendship does not constitute “leading someone on,” and people are perfectly capable of having deep, meaningful conversations with people they do not necessarily want to be with in a romantic or sexual way.

No one should have to feel guilty for not returning another’s affection. This certainly goes for women who pine after men as well, queer people, or any other combination of friends. What we see most commonly, however, especially online, is women under fire for friendzoning and creep-shaming men.