ACTUALLY:

markslurpee:

female privilege is getting to fake an orgasm

(Disclaimer: markslurpee's post was meant to be satirical in response to thisisfemaleprivilege - he does not actually believe what is written above. Thisisfemaleprivilege, however, DOES believe it, and reblogged it with no ironic intent. If you’re angry, please refrain from bothering markslurpee! He’s a good guy. The following rebuttal is directed at those who run thisisfemaleprivilege.)

Now.

A lot of women feel pressured to fake an orgasm rather than discuss the problem, often because they worry about their partner’s self-esteem or are nervous to ask for what they want.

According to a 1994 study, 75% of men and only 29% of women report always having an orgasm with their partner. In fact, for a very long time, it was believed that female orgasm was a myth because it does not serve as much of a direct purpose in the procreational aspects of heterosexual intercourse.

Additionally, women in pornography are often depicted as able to easily achieve vaginal orgasm with very little effort. Not only is this a misrepresentation due to the relatively low number of women who can consistently have vaginal orgasms, it also implies that women will always have an orgasm - period. This is a huge discrepancy from a 2010 survey by the NSSHB, which found that only 64% of women report having had an orgasm during their last sexual encounter. This misrepresentation of reality puts social pressure on women to live up to the enthusiasm of fantasy women.

For women, orgasm is the exception, not the rule, when engaging in sex with a partner. The fact that this dissatisfaction may be easily hidden is no privilege - it is a social nicety women are expected to perform.

[CLICK HERE] to read more about orgasm and privilege!

(via thisisfemaleprivilege)

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege is BOOBS 

Boobs are great! Not a lot of people dislike boobs, anyway. However, boobs can be problematic because of the way [especially] Western society sexualizes them.

47 states allow breast feeding in public, but in three states it is possible for women to face public indecency or indecent exposure charges for nursing a child in public. Even in states where it is legal, it is not entirely uncommon for women to be harassed, heckled, or frowned upon for breast feeding in public.

What this means is that it’s always been okay to show breasts like this:

…But when they are used for their primary biological purpose - nursing children - society recoils and calls this “indecent.”

Women have been taught that their breasts are a thing to hide for the sake of the men who may be distracted by them, a dirty and exclusively sexual part of the female anatomy - which is in part why it is not legal for women to go topless in public, whereas men can.

A woman with a bustier figure is sometimes met with presumptions about her “promiscuity,” even when nothing else about her character or dress would suggest an inclination for frequent or indiscriminate sexual behavior. This kind of judgement can become especially problematic when schools or work environments raise dress code policies for chestier women, suggesting that the same, modest outfit may appear “vulgar” or “inappropriate” on one breast size but “decent” on those with smaller breasts. Bustygirlcomics expresses this idea rather perfectly in the comic below:

Even when breasts are not being met with negative attention, unwanted positive attention can also be harmful. For example, a woman’s chest is often used as decoration in music videos, advertisements, and other media attempting to “sell” an idea. Sexual reductionism teaches consumers of such media that objectifying women is okay, and that a woman’s worth in public is equal to how attractive she is. Certain body parts on women - in particular breasts, hips, butts, and lips - are especially oversexualized in popular media, resulting in an environment where women may often feel undervalued for non-physical traits, or on the flip side preyed on for being beautiful and thus an object of some men’s sexual self-entitlement.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege is the ability to demand and receive alimony after a divorce settlement even though you have a degree and a well paying job to support yourself.

Temporary alimony is sometimes awarded to divorced men who were not the “bread winners” in their marriage, although it is certainly true that women are much more likely to receive alimony, and in most places “indefinite” alimony is awarded to exclusively women. This alimony is often withheld in cases where the woman’s misbehavior is the grounds for divorce, in an attempt to keep things fair.

With that concession statement out of the way:

The feminist community is fairly split on the issue of alimony, although there are slightly more feminists who oppose it.

Many feminists support the discontinuation of alimony, believing it to be a form of sexism by society’s acknowledgement of the fact that women do not make as much for every dollar men make. Instead of seeking to rectify this larger problem, however, alimony is seen by some as making women into a sort of charity. This allows the cycle to continue where women’s financial reliance on men is made bearable enough for many people to believe that this is a form of “making up” for inequality, when it’s really not. Additionally, many feminists acknowledge that this puts some men (although comparably fewer) at a disadvantage, especially if the man was the partner who worked very little or not at all in order to remain attached to household tasks while his partner worked.

On the other hand, many older feminists believe that alimony is a form of “retroactive pay for years of free labor” (Robin Morgan) for women who were previously stay-at-home mothers or who were delegated housekeeping duties. This viewpoint is also important because it wasn’t so long ago that most women were encouraged to be wives and homemakers, and therefore had little other means to financial welfare. Many of these women from decades ago did not have the same access to family and academic support that we have today to encourage them to live as we always should have been allowed to: self-sufficiently.

Demanding alimony even if not needed or not as a way to pay back a woman for years of homemaking and childcare comes at a loss for feminism, as many anti-feminist groups cite this issue as a reason to believe that feminism is harmful to society.

The thing is, alimony began as a way to make amends when equality between the sexes was even more distinct. Feminists fought for this shred of help when it was more relevant, and as soon as women became more encouraged to work outside the home, feminists at large began opposing alimony because it had outlived its usefulness and even became harmful in some situations.

Feminism is an evolving movement; just because feminists of ages past had more of a use for alimony does not mean modern-day feminists are to be “blamed” for the occasional injustices caused by it in modern times, especially considering the fact that most modern-day feminists agree that alimony is probably too problematic an ordeal to keep around.

Feminism has won us many rights, and it is our only hope for continuing to gain equal footing with men. Anything that harms the rationality of feminism has drawbacks for all of us, and that is why demanding unnecessary alimony is not a “privilege,” but a behavior to be strongly frowned upon.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is being able to express sexual or romantic interest without being called a “creep” and losing social status.

Unwanted expressions of sexual or romantic interest are always awkward, but it becomes especially troubling when they persist after one has said “no.”

Some men refer to this as being “friendzoned” and take serious offense to women who exercise their right to say no to their romantic interest after they have been kind or friendly to a woman for a while. This word is also sometimes used when men go on dates with women who realize they are just not interested in them after all. 

The problem here is that being nice to a woman, being her friend, or letting her talk to you about tough stuff does not mean she owes you romantic or physical attention in return. Having “been there” throughout all of her other romantic relationships does not automatically assign you privilege to her heart or body. “Nice” isn’t the only thing women look for in men, and really, if someone is being nice in order to achieve a payoff, that person may not really be so nice at all. I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “Girls are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.” The same goes for any romantic relationship, physical or not.

Tumblr user claudieblue puts the occurrence into perspective by comparing it to a man who doesn’t understand why the store he frequents hasn’t hired him. [CLICK HERE] to read the post! Another Tumblr user, angels-and-angles, says “‘Slut’ is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say ‘yes.’ ‘Friendzone’ is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say ‘no.’”

What this leaves is very little middle ground for a woman to stand on, and very little trust for these supposed “friends” whose kindness, unknowing to her, came at a cost all along.

The phrase “creep-shaming” is often used by the same people who espouse the belief that when a woman says “no” to a friend who has always been there for her, she is friendzoning. The phrase carries the connotation that when a woman tells the [often] opposite-sex friend that she feels uncomfortable with his persistent advances, she is somehow shaming him, abusing him, emasculating him, or otherwise insulting him.

The most important thing for everyone to remember is to be open and honest with each other before beginning any kind of relationship, platonic or otherwise. If you don’t think you’ll be able to handle staying in a platonic relationship with someone you’re romantically interested in without getting hurt, the responsibility is on you to either remove yourself from that friendship, or continue as you are with the knowledge and acceptance that your feelings may never be returned - preferably without intentionally guilting your friend.

It is also important to remember that friendship does not constitute “leading someone on,” and people are perfectly capable of having deep, meaningful conversations with people they do not necessarily want to be with in a romantic or sexual way.

No one should have to feel guilty for not returning another’s affection. This certainly goes for women who pine after men as well, queer people, or any other combination of friends. What we see most commonly, however, especially online, is women under fire for friendzoning and creep-shaming men.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is having hundreds of love songs written about you. 

There are hundreds of love songs written about men, too! Unfortunately, not many of them will be heard by men. Studies have shown that male listeners are less likely to listen to music featuring a female vocalist than a male vocalist, whereas female listeners will listen to vocalists of either sex (although in younger age groups, both girls and boys prefer vocalists of their own sex). Pop music in particular is what most studies focus on, and predominantly in European or North American countries.

This kind of ties into the previous discussion about male and female role models in movies [CLICK HERE TO READ], but it also brings to mind some very important ideas about unwanted sexual attention and affection.

A lot of pop music written about women is not necessarily about love, but lust. Women’s bodies are often talked about like they are objects rather than human beings; a thing to be wanted, collected, taken, and used. This trend is even easier to see when one conducts a content analysis of gender portrayal in music videos.

I saw the full version of this documentary, “Dreamworlds 3: Desire, Sex, & Power in Music Video” when I was a freshman in college, and I’ve always found it useful to show other people who may need convincing of the power struggle we see between men and women in the music industry. Have a look at the trailer, and look around for it online! I think it’s chopped up in parts on YouTube. I definitely encourage you to find it and watch it - and show it to anyone else who might be interested.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is having images of impossible, incredibly rare body shapes appear for every female role in every single movie, while males frequently get goofy, “ugly” characters to relate to.

Many of the female icons women are expected to relate to are those “impossible, incredibly rare body shapes.” Sometimes the “impossible” part is to be taken quite literally, as many women on advertisements, in films, and in television promos are photoshopped, airbrushed, and generally beautified to a point that even the actress herself does not resemble her onscreen presence. A really helpful video that illustrates this use of photoshopped women in advertisements can be found [HERE].

One study conducted in India discovered that women who had not been previously exposed to these first world ideals of beauty - impossible thinness, youth, flawless skin, etc… - were more likely to be satisfied with their own bodies than women who had been exposed to these images. This study showed that the problem is largely a first world one, and hundreds of other studies have been able to similarly prove the existence of body dissatisfaction in women exposed to falsified images of women.

Men are less likely to experience severe body dissatisfaction with increased exposure to polished media men, although there have been some studies that suggest increased exposure to video games can cause some men to be dissatisfied with their height and/or musculature.

However, the fact that men are allowed to appear onscreen in multiple shapes and sizes, and are sometimes goofy or “ugly,” means that other traits about these characters can be focused on. It is more permissible for a man to be generally unattractive in television and movies because he is more likely to have his worth proven through other attributes - his intelligence, his loyalty, or his sense of humor.

For more about the objectification of women in the media, [CLICK HERE] and read the bottom paragraph in particular!

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege means that almost every movie and tv show caters to our sexual gratification by having a male lead characterv

Lead characters on prime-time television programming are overwhelmingly male. Women are more likely to be shown in supporting roles, as love interests, or otherwise trivialized in mainstream media.

Researchers who study media find that girls and women are more likely to retain interest in a show with a male in the leading role than men are to retain interest in a show with a female lead. As a result, most prime-time programming caters more to male interest to hold maximum viewership. What this means is that boys and girls are expected to look up to men, and boys should have the choice to be able to avoid looking up to women in powerful roles.

Recently, the movie Brave came out and some parents were concerned that their male children wouldn’t be able to find any strong male characters to look up to.

Tumblr user quixoticandabsurd makes a great point: “…nobody batted an eye when I was little and walked out of the theater after seeing Toy Story proclaiming, “Woody is so cool! I want to be just like him!” Nobody cared that I was a little girl looking up to a male character. Not a single person would have been upset if I wanted a Sully toy, or if I admired Simba more than Nala. No parents said to their daughters, “No, I’m not taking you to see Up! because there’s no females for you to look up to!” Because as long as it was men being awesome, parents decided that our kids could see through typical gender stereotypes. They decided, “my kid can learn something from this film even though she is a girl and that character is a boy.” But as soon as the roles are reversed everyone is up in arms about it.”

Also, male sexual gratification is certainly being catered to on television. Female characters are almost exclusively beautiful and thin, young, and for all of their “career-girl nonsense,” are totally in love with the men of the show. Female homosexuality is hardly ever depicted on mainstream television, or when it is it is often shown as a trait among girls in wayward, drug-abusing crowds. Meanwhile, men are left to go about their stoic business, characterized by more than just what they look like and who they’re sleeping with. Male characters are more fleshed-out and defined, whereas female characters are often similar to dolls with swappable heads and career outfits - a lot like Barbie!

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is not being expected to get a professional career and take on all the challenges thereof and instead stay home and eat Yoplait (pink flavors because no one judges you for liking pink)

This one is so obvious that I’m just going to leave it here and let all of you rage out. As for the thing about yogurt, the video below explains much better than I ever could how yogurt companies appeal to women. As sexism goes, it’s not too terrible (I mean hey, yogurt IS fantastic, and okay, women need to make sure they get enough calcium because we’re more prone to having brittle bones) but Sarah Haskins makes the explanation a pretty enjoyable time. You could all use the lols!

But seriously, it is not a “privilege” that women are not expected to have professional careers. This type of thinking only serves to propagate myths about women being useless, stupid, or lazy gold-diggers. Most women like to feel fulfilled in all aspects of life just like men do, and having a successful career is one way to accomplish this. Just because you’re a woman, it doesn’t mean that you have to give up everything you’ve worked for when you settle down in order to raise a family. Many modern, progressive couples choose to share household tasks and child rearing responsibilities. If you want to be a full-time mother, that’s okay too! But many women don’t, and shouldn’t be expected to stay at home just because it’s the traditional way to go about things.

Additionally, it’s questionable in the first place to say women aren’t expected to have professional careers. It’s not like our fathers scrape together a dowry of six cattle, a hundred acres, and our hand in marriage for the best sharpshooter in the village these days. We have to pay our bills too, and most of us would prefer not to have our financial welfare hinge on a romantic relationship that may or may not work out.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

Female privilege is being able to shave your body hair without being made fun of.

Male athletes (cyclists and swimmers especially) often shave their body hair to be more aerodynamic, hydrodynamic, and to avoid complications should an injury occur. This is generally acceptable to society.

However, when a female decides not to shave her body hair, she will often be labeled strange or dirty - much more so than when men do decide to shave. Common misconceptions about these women are that they must be lesbians, or identify as men, or are avid environmentalists. The truth is, some women don’t shave because they just don’t want to or don’t like to. This reason does not seem to be acceptable to most of modern society, which has taken to policing the way women deal with their own bodies.

Another important issue is the pressure women are made to feel to shave or wax their bikini area - sometimes entirely. Especially in modern pornography, waxed or shaved women are represented more than women who still have pubic hair, and the result is that more and more men are coming to believe a woman has to have zero pubic hair to be considered beautiful. Ironically, most dermatologists agree that the skin around the genitals is extremely sensitive and is kept healthier if the hair in the region is left alone. This is not to say that women who choose to shave should not, but there should certainly be no pressure put on women to shave.

ACTUALLY:

thisisfemaleprivilege:

female privilege is multiple orgasms

Some men are actually capable of having multiple orgasms, although it is much more common in cisgendered women. However, research suggests that the female orgasm is more likely to be elusive and difficult to attain, especially from heterosexual intercourse.

According to the Kinsey Institute, “About 85% of men report that their partner had an orgasm at the most recent sexual event; this compares to the 64% of women who report having had an orgasm during their most recent sexual event.” Psychologists suggest that many women fake orgasms in order to keep their male partners from feeling “inadequate.”

A lot more emphasis and importance is placed on male orgasm than female orgasm - presumably because of its importance to the act of procreation, although this difference in importance is still emphasized in purely recreational sex as well. For more men than women, orgasm is the rule, not the exception. Pulling from Kinsey research again, 75% of men and only 29% of women report always having an orgasm with their partner. It is important to note that these statistics come from cisgendered men and women.

Many women’s magazines place heavy emphasis on improving one’s sex life, although the advice given generally revolves around how to perform for a male partner. Cosmopolitan and Redbook are examples of magazines that are much more likely to place emphasis on how to give an orgasm rather than how to enjoy your own. Homosexual sex advice is largely ignored.

In some cultures, female orgasm is even considered “wrong,” or a “sin,” and the clitoris is removed to prevent it. This is called “female circumcision,” and it is much more harmful and dangerous than male circumcision because it is the removal of an entire organ rather than skin and mucous membranes. Females who have been circumcised have life-long complications and may never be able to have an orgasm again. [CLICK HERE] to read more about this issue in particular.

All of this is of course on top of the fact that biological advantages are not the same as what we refer to when we talk about “privilege.”